I have a friend who regularly reminds me to ‘allow people’ when I’m making harsh judgements on people and the nonsense I see them acting out in society.
After spending some months reflecting on his perspective, and getting some input from other high-value members of society, I’ve come to the conclusion that they are in fact right. We should give people a bit more room to fuck up considering how rough a lot of people have it.
Consider this…Your mother, father, friend or colleague regularly get on your nerves because they do things, say things, that you believe to be unbecoming and just out-of-pocket. Your aunty may be someone who judges your fashion choices harshly and speak badly on this new generations way of carrying themselves. Your co-worker may be the most self-centred person you have ever met, and you just can’t make sense of how either of these people thinks their behaviour is appropriate.
Here’s the thing. They don’t know any better. They are simply going off what they think is right, just like how you are. Their behaviour and beliefs are probably informed by significantly different information sources and they definitely come from a very different walk of life than you do. So when you think about it, it’s quite ambitious of you to think that they should act in all the right ways - according to you, and even more ambitious to think that your way is the right way.
Sometimes, however, the behaviour is uncalled for and completely inappropriate. Racist slurs. Misogynistic comments. Support for Arsenal FC. There are definitely a couple of things that just aren’t acceptable. But for the most part, you should cut them some slack. No one sees the world exactly the way you do. Even your own friends do things that give you the ‘ick’.
So yeah, just give more people a bit more grace. Let them be them. It’s not your job to fix them and they don’t always need fixing in the first place. You might even be the problem, lol.
It could all be so simple.